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IT WASN'T ONLY THE BRITS THAT THOUGHT YOU LOST BERNARD: Check This Out!

Apr 24, '08 6:14 AM
by Brian for everyone

* This here is a bit shocking folks... - B.B *

Charlton Heston

"I don't know what kind of firearm you were using there in the second half son, but those arms just weren't-a-firing. You just aren't going to retain The Ring World Championship with output like that. and you sure-as-heck ain't gonna ever become The NRA Light Heavyweight Champ. And as far as those crazy bullets you were spewing out afterwards? Somebody should have put a silencer on that gun. I'm afraid to say the following son: In this case here, N.R.A stands for Not Representing America." ( Heston's Card = 115-112 Calzaghe )

Chuck "The Rifleman" Connors

"I'm afraid Heston is right there kiddo -- you were just firing blanks towards the end. Yes, the 'welshy' fires nothin but blanks all the time -- but he fires alot of them. Kinda puts a little 'hitch in the ol' giddyup'. I think we need to get you a new rifle, cuz' that one the other night just didn't have enough ammunition and 'rounds' in it." P.S - Good job on the acting though son. You might just have a future there." ( Connors Card = 115-112 Calzaghe )

Burgess Meredith

"Ya' should have went for the DQ kid!!! You should have went for the D.Q! After you got up from that low blow, you should have just started firing downstairs on both Calzone and ol' Cortez! That is what "separates the men from the boys, not to mention the 'boys'-from-the-man as well! The Brit wouldn't have been able to take it Bernie, but ol' Cortez reminds me of referee Dick Steele; he's "fair but he's firm", and he probably wouldn't have even flinched." ( Meredith's Card = 114-113 Calzaghe )

Ray Charles

"Calzaghe by two! P.S - I sure enjoyed the fight much more than that National Anthem rendition!" ( Charles Card = 115-113 Calzaghe )

Gen. George "The Hitman" Patton

"You guys are being way to soft on this fellow. All this shooting off of his 'air pistol' and disgraceful garbage-talk of "not losing to a white guy" and low and behold what happens? The pitiful disgrace ends up letting a slap-happy Welsh/'Wop' with a Red-Rider BB-gun win the war in the final stages! 'Executioner'??? What is this guys method of execution? Like ol Connors said, it sure-as-hell ain't by 'firing squad'! Let me guess son...hanging? As in -- "hanging" onto the guy and groping him like that pitiful and repugnant Puerto Rican heavyweight Ruiz!!!??? 'EXITED-cutioner' as far as I'm concerned." ( Patton's Card = 114-113 Calzaghe )

Uncle Sam

"I'm afraid you filed your W-2 early...and incomplete. Therefor your W-2 did NOT equal a W-12. 10-40? All I can say is that it looked like the "B.H over-40" could have used a squirt of WD-30 the other night. As for the interview? How about a "WTF", a "STFU", and an "XYZ" zip-it! P.S - You can't write-off Morrade Hakkar as a 'dependant' there son." ( * Sam doesn't keep score...or so he would like you to believe. )

Jesse Jackson

"There was clearly an outrageous injustice done the other night to Mr. Bernard Hopkins. I hereby proclaim him "Rainbow Coalition Champion", and our staff of lawyers are looking into this matter here -- I can assure you. P.S - Why didn't I protest and boycott this fight like I would have in the event that Calzaghe - and not Hopkins - had made those racial remarks? Because I'm a hypocritical jackass with a set of double-standards, that's why." ( Jackson's Card = 120-107 Hopkins....* Who the hell let this guy into the blog??? - B.B * )

Johnnie Cochran

"If that glove does-not-hit...you must-a-quit, Bernard." ( Cochran's Card = Usually the 'race one', but even he had Calzaghe winning here by a score of 114-113. )

Jim Lampley

"I had my card filled out before the fight, and shockingly enough -- I stand by it: 120-108 Joe Calzaghe. As a matter of fact, I was so focused on kissing Joe's ass and humping his leg, that I almost missed that knockdown! Well, I suppose I kind of 'vetoed' Jackson's vote, eh? But then again, what do I know? I'm just an overly-verbose and hyperbolic blowhard that likes to smoke weed, drink whiskey, and engage in 'boxing matches' with 20-something year-old lingerie models."

* Bizzy On Bernard *

(2008)

Prev: COULD THIS MAN HAVE HELPED GOMEZ AND CINTRON ANY?
Next: A CASE FOR BENN, COLLINS AND EUBANK IN THE HALL by Ted Sares

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12 Comments

bizzack wrote on Apr 24, edited on Apr 24

My card? It was 7-5 Calzaghe, and with the knockdown = 114-113 Joe. I thought a reasonable case could be made for 8-4 and 115-112 for Joe, or in fact 6-6 and 114-113 Hopkins -- but certainly no more than that either way.

;-)

*BB*

dmurphy wrote on Apr 24

LOL, funny stuff,Bizz. Here's my Card:

img src="http://www.fightjudge.com/images/scorecard_generator/343/260/scorecard.png" border="0">

neverlast wrote on Apr 24

That was " classic " stuff Bizz...I had a shitty day but that got me to smile...Thank you !

bizzack wrote on Apr 25

neverlast said

That was " classic " stuff Bizz...I had a shitty day but that got me to smile...Thank you !

Glad you guys liked it! And hey, I had kind of a shitty day that day too, but just looking at some of these 'larger-than-life legends that I brought-back-to-life kind of brought a smile to my face!

* Hey, next time your in a bad mood? Just take a look at the stoic faces of one Connors or Burgess. Or better yet -- that pic of the late-great Ray Charles! (LOL)

bizzack wrote on Apr 25

dmurphy said

LOL, funny stuff,Bizz. Here's my Card:

img src="http://www.fightjudge.com/images/scorecard_generator/343/260/scorecard.png" border="0">

Murphy had the same exact score as Charles! (coincidence? LOL)

Actually, you had about almost the exact same score as me too Murph. Like I said, I think 7-5 with a 'one-round swing' ( e.g, 8-4 or 6-6 ) would all be generally acceptable.

* Why is it that our cards and rankings ( and I can even stretch the word "our" to apply to the vast majority of knowledgeable fans ) are always - at the very least - "reasonable"; if not downright accurate???

:O

bizzack wrote on Apr 25, edited on Apr 25

Hey Jim...*chuckle*...I hope Jackson and/or Lampleys team of lawyers doesn't send you anything! But then again -- what did I write that wasn't the absolute 100% honest-to-god truth??? Seriously, what could they say in terms of libel, slander, or "defecation of character"???

Here is about the only thing they MIGHT have a case on...

Jackson: "My scorecard wasn't quite that wide." (LOL!)

Lampley: "Neither was mine, and I didn't have it 'filled out beforehand'. And I wasn't kissing his ass or humping his leg, damnit." (LOL!)

BTW - That NRA = "Not Representing America" from Heston pretty powerful stuff, eh?

;-)

docdeacon wrote on Apr 25

Well Bizzy, the Ligerie model vs. Lamply might be more entertaining. LOL

dmurphy wrote on Apr 26

bizzack said

Bizz-
Yeah, must be coincidence (lol). Seriously, I DO think that with this particular fight there was a general concensus and most any reasonable person would've had it within that narrow "one round swing" you mention. In the Fightjudge Room that night, I did encounter two fans on the extremes, one that had it 116-111 Calzaghe, which given the knockdown would be hard to support,and one guy with 115-112 Hopkins that I simply can't understand at all. Both were Regulars, pretty knowledgable,and not given to simply rooting with their scorecards. I guess everyone has an off night sometimes.

gsmith02 wrote on Apr 29

I went 115-112 for Calzaghe. Bernard's arms got real, real heavy around that 9th and 10th round before he took the break.

Age.....the pace....and perhaps too much emphasis on weight training with Shilstone made those arms heavier than we've ever seen them.

dmurphy wrote on Apr 29

gsmith02 said

Good point,Greg. It was the only time I've ever seen Bernard looking truely run down. I don't know if it was Mackie Shilstone or simply the 43 years of using them FINALLY taking their toll.

bizzack wrote on Apr 30

I think it was the pace and the 43 yrs. guys.

And agreed: That was the very first time I saw Hopkins ever "fade down the stretch"...